There comes a point in life—usually after we’ve taken some hits—where the question shifts from “What do I want to do?” to “Who do I want to be?”
That’s where the B.E.S.T. framework was born.
Originally, I created it for student-athletes. But what I’ve learned since is this:
Adults need this just as much—maybe more.
We get stuck in reaction mode. We operate on autopilot. We pour into everyone else and forget to check in with our own standards.
So this post is about bringing the B.E.S.T. Code home—not just for our kids, but for ourselves.
B – Be Honest with Yourself
Most of us are carrying stories we’ve outgrown.
Stories from childhood. From failure. From trauma. From survival.
Being honest with yourself means slowing down long enough to ask:
Am I leading… or just coping?
Am I avoiding discomfort or leaning into what I know I’m capable of?
What am I pretending not to know?
This isn’t about self-shaming—it’s about self-ownership.
You can’t change what you’re not willing to name.
E – Effort in Every Area
Life isn’t segmented.
You can’t go all-in at work and then coast at home and expect to feel aligned.
You can’t crush your goals and ignore your health and expect to feel whole.
This part of the code asks:
Am I giving intentional effort in the places that matter most?
What areas have I been coasting in?
Where do I need to recommit—not for perfection, but consistency?
Effort isn’t about hustle culture.
It’s about choosing presence where it matters.
S – Show Up, Even When It’s Hard
This is the gut-check piece.
Everyone’s got motivation on a good day.
But the people who win—the people who build something that lasts—are the ones who show up even when it’s inconvenient, scary, or unglamorous.
This applies to:
Showing up in your marriage after a tough day
Leading your team when you’re personally struggling
Keeping your promise to yourself when nobody’s watching
We don’t rise to our goals. We fall to our standards.
T – Take Responsibility
This doesn’t mean blame.
This means ownership.
It means saying:
“This didn’t go how I planned… and I’m still in charge of how I respond.”
It’s the difference between:
“They didn’t support me” vs. “I didn’t ask for what I needed.”
“Nobody sees my value” vs. “I haven’t shown them how I lead.”
“Everything’s hard right now” vs. “What can I control today?”
Responsibility isn’t weight—it’s power.
When you take it back, you take the lead.
So What Now?
Use the B.E.S.T. code to recalibrate.
Not as a measuring stick—but as a compass.
Ask yourself each week:
Where have I been honest with myself? Where have I avoided truth?
Where did I give real effort? Where did I drift?
Where did I show up when it was hard?
What did I take responsibility for—and where did I deflect it?
You don’t need a complete overhaul.
You just need alignment.
Final Thought
Being your B.E.S.T. isn’t a performance.
It’s a way of living—especially when life gets loud, complicated, and full of other people’s expectations.
Start with honesty.
Lead with effort.
Keep showing up.
Own what’s yours.
That’s how you live as your B.E.S.T.—and that’s how you lead others to do the same.
Download the B.E.S.T. for Professionals & Adults Below
