We’ve all seen it happen your kid or one of your players is lights-out in practice. Confident. Smooth. Unshakable.
But come game time… something’s off. The swing looks tight. The body language shifts. They strike out and look completely lost and you’re left wondering, What happened?
This blog is for the parents and coaches standing behind the fence, hearts racing, too, trying to figure out how to help without hurting.
Let’s unpack what’s really going on and how we can help them play free.
1. Overanalyzing Kills Flow
When a young athlete gets in their head, they start thinking about how to swing instead of why they’re swinging. It’s like trying to write with someone looking over your shoulder, correcting your grip.
What you see:
- Stiff swings
- Pauses before action
- Constant adjusting and tinkering
What they feel:
“What if I mess this up? Should my elbow be higher? Did I shift too soon?”
What they need:
- Permission to trust their training
- A phrase like: “Let it fly. Trust your swing.”
- Consistent reminders that games are for expression, not perfection
Your job: Reinforce effort and focus not mechanics on game day. Save the swing breakdown for the cage.
2. Fear of Failure Cripples Confidence
Some kids fear striking out more than anything. Not because they don’t believe in themselves but because they don’t want to let you down.
What you see:
- Hesitation
- Lack of aggression at the plate
- Head down after outs
What they feel:
“I’ll disappoint Dad.”
“Coach is watching I can’t mess up.”
“Everyone expects me to hit.”
What they need:
- A safe space to fail
- Reassurance that your love and respect isn’t tied to performance
- A reset phrase like: “Mistakes are reps too.”
Your job: Let your words before and after the game make it clear: their worth is not performance-based.
3. Pressure to Perform Can Crush Joy
When a young athlete feels like their job is to win the game, it becomes a job not a joy.
What you see:
- Outbursts, tears, or shut down after a strikeout
- Over-celebrating success, over-spiraling failure
- Obsession with stats or others’ opinions
What they feel:
“I have to live up to expectations.”
“I don’t want to be the weak link.”
“They expect me to be perfect.”
What they need:
- The reminder that sports are play, not punishment
- A phrase like: “You don’t have to carry the team. Just compete.”
- An environment where effort > results
Your job: Celebrate character over outcome. Talk more about how they show up than what they produce.
4. Disrupted Routine = Mental Collapse
When something throws off their rhythm, weather, a late arrival, or a lineup change can rattle the whole system.
What you see:
- Frozen body language
- Irritability
- Loss of focus
What they feel:
“This doesn’t feel normal. I don’t know how to reset.”
“Everything’s off. What if I screw up?”
What they need:
- A simple, repeatable pre-game or at-bat routine
- A go-to anchor: breath, phrase, physical reset (like tapping the bat or glove)
- Reassurance that adaptability is part of the game
Your job: Help them develop a consistent mental warm-up routine something they can control when everything else feels chaotic.
Final Word to Parents and Coaches:
Our kids aren’t robots. They’re not mini-adults with perfect regulation and laser focus. They’re learning. They’re feeling. And most importantly they’re watching us.
Be the calm when they’re tight. Be the reset when they spiral. And remember: they play their best when they feel safe, supported, and free. Connect with me.
Not when we scream. Not when we fix. But when we lead from peace.
