I was fortunate to hear Rob Swan with Valen Vital Health speak recently on moral injury. He inspired me to conduct my own research. When most people think about trauma, they imagine the physical or psychological scars left behind from a catastrophic event, war, violence, or loss. And while post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) captures some of those lingering effects, there’s another layer of injury that’s often misunderstood or overlooked: moral injury. As someone who’s spent two decades in public safety and law enforcement, I’ve seen firsthand how this deep, internal wound can fester in people’s lives. It’s not something you can stitch up or easily heal from because it isn’t physical. It’s damage done to your sense of self, your values, and your soul.

I’ve been in situations where split-second decisions had to be made, and when the dust settled, the hardest battle wasn’t dealing with the external consequences but reconciling with the man in the mirror. For a lot of us in fields like public safety, law enforcement, or military service, we sign up knowing we might face danger, but we don’t always expect that danger to come from within, tearing apart the very foundations of who we are.

What is Moral Injury?

Simply put, moral injury happens when you engage in, witness, or fail to prevent actions that go against your core values and beliefs. It’s not the shock and fear that PTSD brings; it’s the overwhelming guilt, shame, or betrayal of your own moral code.

Think of it like this: Every day, you carry a moral compass, a set of principles that guide you, whether you’re negotiating a business deal, leading a team, or walking the fine line of an undercover operation. When that compass gets shattered, you’re left in unfamiliar territory, with no clear direction on how to reconcile your actions with your sense of right and wrong. And that’s where moral injury digs in deep.

How Moral Injury Happens

It’s important to note that moral injury doesn’t only happen because you made a “bad decision.” Sometimes, circumstances force you into actions that conflict with your personal ethics. Think about a soldier who’s ordered to engage in combat knowing innocent civilians might be harmed or a police officer who has to stand down in a situation where intervention feels like the right move, but the law says otherwise. In these moments, you’re faced with an impossible choice: follow orders or follow your gut. Either way, you might end up feeling like you’ve betrayed yourself.

In my years in law enforcement, I worked undercover in situations that put me at odds with my own sense of justice. There were times when the rules of engagement clashed with what I felt was morally right. And even though I followed the law and did my duty, there was a cost. The real enemy wasn’t the cartel or the criminal; it was the inner battle I faced after the fact, trying to come to terms with choices that I never imagined I’d have to make.

The Fallout of Moral Injury

Unlike PTSD, where the primary issue is fear-based trauma, moral injury leaves behind a trail of ethical conflict and inner turmoil. It’s like waking up every day with an invisible wound that gnaws at your core. The fallout can manifest in several ways:

1. Guilt and Shame: These are the big ones. You feel responsible for something you did or didn’t do, and that weight can be crushing. It’s not just regret. It’s a deep-seated belief that you failed yourself, your community, or those you were supposed to protect.

2. Loss of Trust: You might start doubting yourself or others, especially if the moral injury stems from a betrayal by a leader or organization you trusted. For example, if you were ordered to do something that violated your values, you might begin questioning the motives and integrity of those in power.

3. Isolation: A lot of people dealing with moral injury pull back from others. It’s hard to talk about this kind of pain when you’re not sure anyone will understand. Plus, admitting that you feel morally compromised isn’t something you just throw into casual conversation.

4. Spiritual or Existential Crisis: If your sense of right and wrong is tied to spiritual or religious beliefs, moral injury can shake you to your core. You might start questioning your place in the world, your purpose, or even the existence of a higher power.

Recognizing and Addressing Moral Injury

Here’s the kicker: moral injury isn’t something most people recognize right away. You might just feel “off” without knowing why. I’ve seen colleagues push these feelings down, thinking that they’re just part of the job, but moral injury doesn’t go away on its own. Like a wound left untreated, it festers.

So, how do you deal with it? Here’s what I’ve learned through my own experiences and from helping others:

1. Acknowledge It: The first step is recognizing that what you’re feeling isn’t just a passing emotion. Moral injury is real, and it’s valid. Don’t dismiss your feelings or brush them aside as a weakness.

2. Talk About It: Find someone you can trust, whether it’s a fellow veteran, a therapist, or a mentor, and start the conversation. The more you bottle it up, the more power it has over you. In fact, many veterans and first responders have found that peer support groups can be incredibly healing, as they provide a safe space to share experiences without fear of judgment.

3. Seek Professional Help: Sometimes, moral injury goes deeper than what you can handle alone. Therapy, particularly approaches that deal with trauma and moral repair, can help you process and begin healing.

4. Forgive Yourself: This is probably the hardest part. It’s one thing to admit that you’re hurting; it’s another to give yourself grace and move forward. But remember this: you’re human, and the situations that lead to moral injury are often beyond your control. You made the best choice you could at the moment, given the circumstances. This applies to many aspects of the job. Forgiving yourself for frustrating your supervisors and co-workers is key.

5. Rebuild Your Compass: Finally, it’s about restoring your sense of direction. Reflect on your values, your sense of purpose, and your personal mission. In my case, I’ve found that helping others overcome adversity, coaching teams, and building resilience gives me the fuel to keep moving forward. You need to find what works for you, whether it’s through service, spiritual practices, or finding new ways to align your actions with your core beliefs.

Moving Forward

Moral injury isn’t just a side effect of tough jobs like military service or law enforcement. It’s an often-overlooked consequence that can happen to anyone forced into situations where doing the right thing feels impossible. But just because the injury is invisible doesn’t mean it isn’t real.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned on my journey, it’s that resilience isn’t just about bouncing back from physical injuries or traumatic events. True resilience is about finding your way back to yourself when life shatters your moral compass. It’s about facing the hard truths, doing the inner work, and coming out stronger on the other side.

So, whether you’re a veteran, police officer, EMT, Firefighter, first responder, or someone dealing with the consequences of a moral injury in your personal or professional life, know this: you’re not alone. There’s a path to healing, and it starts with acknowledging the injury, seeking help, and rebuilding your foundation.

In the end, moral injury might leave scars, but those scars can be a source of strength, reminders that even when faced with the toughest choices, you have the power to heal, grow, and keep moving forward.

I love talking about this stuff. Let’s catch up.